...and I'm going to Burn.
Both other years I have gone to the playa have involved significant preparation, and up till yesterday I was certain that I was not going to go this year.
But last Friday I got offered a free ticket, and although I hesitated at first due to lack of preparation and a billion things to do back home, over the weekend I realized that I can use the expansion.
Besides, I have been wanting to take a small trip anyways...
Interestingly enough, a big motivating factor for me this time is that I am going alone.
I plan to camp with my boss when I get there, but the drive there and back will be me alone with my own space for how ever many hours per direction.
That rules.
I feel like 1) striking out on my own and 2) having the time to myself are elements that I can really use right now, especially since I feel like I have decent amount of internal "sorting" to do.
Of course, it will be amazing being at BM and the Friday lineup at OT is worth going for alone, but I am really looking forward to the road trip with my own company!
And it is interesting to do something like this with supremely minimal preparation - this time it's only me, my tent, and some water and solid-state food...
Monday, August 25, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
japanese lessons
Amazing how lessons can come from the places you least expect.
In this case, I have been learning essential lessons about my relationship with Japan but through posts on the humor blog stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.
The blog itself is indeed what I anticipated - I have been there before, and it has a brand of half-true intercultural humor that I find quite amusing. But where I really found benefits was in the comments section for the post on (surprise) Japan. (post is here: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/07/58-japan/)
The post has 28 pages of comments attached to it from a wide swath of internet denizens. There were clear racial bigots who posted things like “f**ck japan; [insert racial slur]” or “remember pearl harbor”, but ignoring those, there was actually alot of content from people who had actually had contact with Japan in varying levels.
People who fit that description ranged in their degree of contact with the culture, but I found that I had alot to learn about the way that I relate to Japan through the way they described their own experiences.
And not all were good experiences.
One thing that was especially helpful was to be able to suss out the things that do not jive for me in Japan.
Some things I learned:
I have had a tendency to avoid other foreigners in Japan (besides my own friends and acquaintances) -- even to the point of being rude occasionally. This is not limited to me. Other foreigners have this same experience. Many of those posting on the site spoke of these actions stemming from wanting to be the only foreigner with an exclusive “special” knowledge of Japan, or assuming that other foreigners were simply of the type that come to Japan with no knowledge or interest in the culture and just want to party and bed Japanese girls (aka the Roppongi crowd) or the recent third stereotype of the anime nerd who gets into Japan because of Inuyasha but really knows nothing about Japan. All of these thoughts patterns about foreigner also exist for me, and it was eye-opening to have them brought to the foreground (where they are clearly ridiculous!). It turns out that I have indeed had a pattern of internally denying other foreigner’s experiences of Japan as invalid, and mine as superior because I have an advanced knowledge of the language and familiarity with the culture. Now that I see this, I want to dispel this assumption so that I may connect with more people around the world. For sure, those stereotypes DO exist and in reality I DO have a great deal of linguistic prowess in Japanese and a knowledge of Japan. But really those things are irrelevant - in the end we are just people; as blogger TG puts it, “we need to remember there is a bigger team behind that - the human team - that we all belong to”.
Although I love being in Japan, and living there for a time would give me a prime opportunity to further hone my language skills even more than they already are as well as give me much joy in the experience of being there, I don’t think that it could be a permanent move. For as much as Japan has a beautiful culture in many ways, there are ways in which it is really hard to live in (such as absolutely insane working hours and heavy social obligations) and especially so for foreigners. The governmental rules are labyrinthine, and when you live in Japan permanently you lose the foreigner sheen, cuteness, and “gaijin privilege” that allow you to ignore many of the social rules. Many others outlined this point, and though I was already feeling it internally, the feeling was given shape by reading the blog comments here. I am most definitely interested in a permanent move abroad, but in all likelihood it will not be to Japan (strange for a Japanese major!)
and even more, but I would need to sort through it to vocalize...
In this case, I have been learning essential lessons about my relationship with Japan but through posts on the humor blog stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.
The blog itself is indeed what I anticipated - I have been there before, and it has a brand of half-true intercultural humor that I find quite amusing. But where I really found benefits was in the comments section for the post on (surprise) Japan. (post is here: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/07/58-japan/)
The post has 28 pages of comments attached to it from a wide swath of internet denizens. There were clear racial bigots who posted things like “f**ck japan; [insert racial slur]” or “remember pearl harbor”, but ignoring those, there was actually alot of content from people who had actually had contact with Japan in varying levels.
People who fit that description ranged in their degree of contact with the culture, but I found that I had alot to learn about the way that I relate to Japan through the way they described their own experiences.
And not all were good experiences.
One thing that was especially helpful was to be able to suss out the things that do not jive for me in Japan.
Some things I learned:
I have had a tendency to avoid other foreigners in Japan (besides my own friends and acquaintances) -- even to the point of being rude occasionally. This is not limited to me. Other foreigners have this same experience. Many of those posting on the site spoke of these actions stemming from wanting to be the only foreigner with an exclusive “special” knowledge of Japan, or assuming that other foreigners were simply of the type that come to Japan with no knowledge or interest in the culture and just want to party and bed Japanese girls (aka the Roppongi crowd) or the recent third stereotype of the anime nerd who gets into Japan because of Inuyasha but really knows nothing about Japan. All of these thoughts patterns about foreigner also exist for me, and it was eye-opening to have them brought to the foreground (where they are clearly ridiculous!). It turns out that I have indeed had a pattern of internally denying other foreigner’s experiences of Japan as invalid, and mine as superior because I have an advanced knowledge of the language and familiarity with the culture. Now that I see this, I want to dispel this assumption so that I may connect with more people around the world. For sure, those stereotypes DO exist and in reality I DO have a great deal of linguistic prowess in Japanese and a knowledge of Japan. But really those things are irrelevant - in the end we are just people; as blogger TG puts it, “we need to remember there is a bigger team behind that - the human team - that we all belong to”.
Although I love being in Japan, and living there for a time would give me a prime opportunity to further hone my language skills even more than they already are as well as give me much joy in the experience of being there, I don’t think that it could be a permanent move. For as much as Japan has a beautiful culture in many ways, there are ways in which it is really hard to live in (such as absolutely insane working hours and heavy social obligations) and especially so for foreigners. The governmental rules are labyrinthine, and when you live in Japan permanently you lose the foreigner sheen, cuteness, and “gaijin privilege” that allow you to ignore many of the social rules. Many others outlined this point, and though I was already feeling it internally, the feeling was given shape by reading the blog comments here. I am most definitely interested in a permanent move abroad, but in all likelihood it will not be to Japan (strange for a Japanese major!)
and even more, but I would need to sort through it to vocalize...
Friday, August 22, 2008
supernational
I have felt for a long time that unlike many of my peers in the places I have lived, I do not really "belong" in any given culture.
Although born and raised (mostly) in California, it feels no more like home than any of the other places I've been or visited, and actually in a great many ways LESS so than others.
I feel very confident and at ease spending extended amounts of time in Japan, and I clearly don't "fit in" there - I am a blond foreigner and stand out more than if I had an arrow pointing at my head while walking through crowds, even in (relatively) cosmopolitan Tokyo.
But I also feel vibrant and satisfied in Europe, both through my experiences living in France and the UK and travels to Munich and Amsterdam.
So I suppose in the end, I am free to pick and choose where I want to live based on whatever criteria is good for me. So there are certainly many positives.
On the other hand, I never get to feel that sense of "home" that others seems to get so easily.
I was never sure what to call this phenomenon, but have found some others throughout the years that share in this same experience. Some of them I met in Lycée in France. Others through my Japanese classes at San Francisco State University. And even through work, as we have international offices at my company.
I found, recently, a blogger online who refers to himself as TG (I think it is short for Tokyo Godfather). He is himself another one of my archetype, and he calls those of us who find ourselves always between cultures "supernationals", and those who are able to be completely at home in one location "domestics".
His blog is here: http://blogger2.earthwalkersmag.com/
He expresses both the pain and joy of this state beautifully in his writings, and I can directly relate to much of what he has to say.
I stumbled upon this site while browsing an entry regarding Japan on the humor blog stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. The article is - as the others on the site - poigniant and amusing, but what really interested me were the comments. I want to write about that as well, but in a forthcoming entry. In these comments, I found one by this blogger TG (at http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/07/58-japan/?cp=11#comment-13176), and I was instantly moved and hooked by his mention of the supernational.
Where does this leave me?
Well, I have a label I can apply to myself.
But more than that, it gives a shape of sorts to some of the kindred-spirit-ness I have felt in others who explore cultures and their differences around the world.
Although born and raised (mostly) in California, it feels no more like home than any of the other places I've been or visited, and actually in a great many ways LESS so than others.
I feel very confident and at ease spending extended amounts of time in Japan, and I clearly don't "fit in" there - I am a blond foreigner and stand out more than if I had an arrow pointing at my head while walking through crowds, even in (relatively) cosmopolitan Tokyo.
But I also feel vibrant and satisfied in Europe, both through my experiences living in France and the UK and travels to Munich and Amsterdam.
So I suppose in the end, I am free to pick and choose where I want to live based on whatever criteria is good for me. So there are certainly many positives.
On the other hand, I never get to feel that sense of "home" that others seems to get so easily.
I was never sure what to call this phenomenon, but have found some others throughout the years that share in this same experience. Some of them I met in Lycée in France. Others through my Japanese classes at San Francisco State University. And even through work, as we have international offices at my company.
I found, recently, a blogger online who refers to himself as TG (I think it is short for Tokyo Godfather). He is himself another one of my archetype, and he calls those of us who find ourselves always between cultures "supernationals", and those who are able to be completely at home in one location "domestics".
His blog is here: http://blogger2.earthwalkersmag.com/
He expresses both the pain and joy of this state beautifully in his writings, and I can directly relate to much of what he has to say.
I stumbled upon this site while browsing an entry regarding Japan on the humor blog stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. The article is - as the others on the site - poigniant and amusing, but what really interested me were the comments. I want to write about that as well, but in a forthcoming entry. In these comments, I found one by this blogger TG (at http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/07/58-japan/?cp=11#comment-13176), and I was instantly moved and hooked by his mention of the supernational.
Where does this leave me?
Well, I have a label I can apply to myself.
But more than that, it gives a shape of sorts to some of the kindred-spirit-ness I have felt in others who explore cultures and their differences around the world.
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